I like to imagine the game developers who created Diner Dash sitting in a conference room, wearing evil guy mustaches, trying to figure out how to make the most addicting game on earth.
“I got it guys!”
“We make a game that contains…”
“Mother of God…”
I actually have to say that this game really isn’t one of my favorite things. While I consider myself good at video games (actually I’m embarrassingly amazing at video games … and modest) this motherf*#$ing game is the hardest, most stressful thing ever made. What I DO love about it is that Katie, who hates all video games that don’t rhyme with “Fario Dart” of “Lario Marty”, is obsessed with this. She pretty much turns into a hardcore gamer when she boots it up.
To play the game, you assume the role of a waitress named Flo. Not to be confused with the Flo from Progressive. But I like to imagine that she’s pretty good at this game.
Gameplay centers around catering to customers to gather as much money as possible. You just have to move around the restaurant like a spider monkey with ADHD. As customers arrive, you drag and drop them onto a table, where they sit down and read menus. Then you go to the table and take their order, which must be taken to the service hatch. After the chef has prepared the meal, you deliver the food like the corporate slave you are, hopefully in at a quick enough pace for the customers to be happy about. When they’re finished eating they must be taken a check, at which point the customers leave a tip (if they aren’t stingy bastards or Canadians). The dishes must be cleared by you before you can seat the next group of cows.
Honestly, if you’re looking to relive that part-time job you had in high school waiting tables at On The Border, then this is the game for you.
But not me. I start playing this game and I can feel the years start dripping out of me like last nights Cinnamon Bun binge. I can’t handle the stress. I see those hearts fade, the looks of disappointment and frustration rise to their faces and I have a breakdown. I’m as useless at this game as a walrus at a tupperware party.
Or even as sad as a banana trying to do a sit up.
But not Katie.
She was born for this. And the glory is hers to collect, one paid check at a time.
Free Android App